Our Bad Games

Guide a sentient fish through a world entirely made of stairs. Jump mechanics were added on day 3, removed on day 4, added back differently on day 7. The fish's name is Gerald and he is tired.

Manage a wildly successful coffee shop that sells everything except coffee. Pastries, hats, motivational posters, live hedgehogs — all available. The customers are deeply, inexplicably happy.

A puzzle game where every level is solved the same way. We genuinely ran out of ideas after level 3. There are 97 identical levels. Level 98 is the main menu. We miscounted.

Plant seeds. Water them. Watch nothing grow for 20 minutes. Then a plant appears. We don't know why it takes 20 minutes — that was a bug we accidentally fixed into a feature.

You've been expelled from wizard school for failing the entrance exam. The whole game is the walk home. There is one (1) spell available: "Minor Inconvenience". It works on nothing.

A physics sandbox simulating a universe without gravity. Objects float. The tutorial floats. You float. Everything serenely drifts away from everything else indefinitely. Is there a win state? Unclear.

Race snails across a 200-metre track in real time. One lap takes roughly 45 minutes. There's a commentary team. They run out of things to say around minute 8 and start discussing their weekends.

A horror game where nothing jump scares you. The monsters are apologetic. The atmosphere is "slightly unsettling, like leaving the oven on." The final boss asks if you're doing okay.

A deck builder where the deck has 53 cards. One card does nothing. We don't know which one. Every run is different because we genuinely forgot which card is useless and hard-coded a random one each time.